According to Gary Chapman’s theory of love languages, different people need different things to feel loved. For some, it’s spending quality time with their loved ones. For others, it’s physical touch, and still others need words of affirmation to feel truly cherished. Show your affection to your partner in their preferred manner, the theory goes, and it will go a long way toward reducing conflict.
But a new study suggests that there’s a fair amount of consensus around which gestures are most likely to make people feel loved – and none of these are associated exclusively with romantic partners:
- When someone shows compassion toward them in difficult times
- When a child snuggles up to them
- When their pets are happy to see them
- When someone tells them “I love you”
Studies have shown that simply making eye contact with your dog increases your level of oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone” because it promotes bonding. Cuddling with your child delivers a big dose of oxytocin, too. A call from a friend after a bad day or an “I love you” with a trusted family member are also small but meaningful gestures – and a nice reminder of the simple things all of us can do to show our appreciation for one another.
