Is Your Spouse Abusing Alcohol? 7 Warning Signs to Look For
Alcohol is part of many people’s lives.
A glass of wine with dinner, or a beer while socializing with friends, can be enjoyable.
But not everyone can just have a drink now and then. Some people are vulnerable to the substance. And, for them, alcohol use can slip into alcohol abuse.
If you are concerned that your spouse might be in danger of abusing alcohol, watch out for these 7 warning signs:
1. ‘Just one more for the road’ – consuming more alcohol than before
Problem drinking can develop very gradually. When did your spouse, who was formerly fun to go out with, transform into the person who always has to have another drink?
Maybe you, too, didn’t notice the change as it happened. But if your spouse now ‘can’t have fun’ without alcohol and/or consumes more than 14 units of alcohol a week or 5 units in one session, he or she is a problem drinker.
2. ‘I have it under control’ – admitting to high alcohol use but denying that it is a problem.
If you hear your spouse saying this little sentence, your alarm signals should switch on! This is the core issue with problem drinkers. They are becoming dependent on alcohol but are in denial about the fact.
3. ‘Nothing to see here’ – hiding alcohol use
This happens when the problem drinker can no longer keep up denial, at least to themselves. They know they are dependent on alcohol, but want to keep their problem a secret from others.
It’s a clear danger sign if your spouse drinks when there is nobody there to witness it. There is even more cause for concern if he or she starts hiding alcohol supplies around the house or at work.
4. ‘That happened when I was drunk’ – Changes in behavior
Alcohol changes your mood and your behavior. You may become more sociable for a while, but then the effects of alcohol generally lead to feeling depressed and/or aggressive.
Frequent high levels of alcohol use and dependency can result in self-isolation, abrupt outbursts of anger, inability to cope with everyday stresses and sometimes also in violence.
Has your spouse changed their behavior recently? Is it difficult to ‘get through’ to them? Are they unreasonable?
All these could be indications of alcohol abuse.
If your spouse is violent, seek protection immediately.
5. ‘I can stop, but not today’ – inability to give up alcohol
This is another form of denial. You challenge your partner to stop using alcohol for a limited amount of time. He or she refuses to stop. But, they also refuse to acknowledge that they are dependent and therefore cannot stop. A major danger signal.
6. ‘Don’t talk to me now’ – frequent hangovers
Increasing alcohol use results in more frequent hangovers. Frequent hangovers are prolonged and sometimes severe withdrawal symptoms from a substance you are dependent on, in this case, alcohol.
If your spouse cannot function without having another drink on the morning after consuming alcohol, the dependency has reached a very worrisome level.
7. Inability to function in the relationship and at work
Alcohol abuse has severe and negative effects both on your body and your mind. It makes it impossible to focus on conversations and on tasks, causes mood swings and impairs cognitive functions as well as empathy.
If your spouse shows any of these warning signs, find a quiet time to speak to them. Don’t make accusations, ask questions instead. If your spouse is honest with you, support them in seeking help. If they are in denial, you may have to confront them more thoroughly with your observations.
Ultimately, only the person who abuses alcohol can decide to change their behavior. If they don’t, you cannot do it for them. In that case, you need to take action to protect yourself.
Look for AA meetings in your area and for Al-Anon meetings, a recovery program for friends and family of alcoholics. Couples counseling can also be very useful.
Overcoming alcohol abuse is not easy, but it can be done.
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