When was the last time you felt anxious – and how did you respond?

Often when we’re confronted with vulnerability, we try to avoid our emotions – and will do anything rather than face them from grabbing a snack to scrolling through social media to tidying the kitchen.

Research suggests people who avoid emotion tend to have higher pain levels, increased cardiovascular risk, and higher cancer rates, as well as increased depression, anxiety, and problems in relationships. Look out for minimizing and distracting, control and worry, and self-criticism. Instead of avoiding what we feel when we are vulnerable, we need to slow down and truly feel our bodies, so we can soothe our nervous systems and access our underlying emotions. This allows you to tune in, letting you come home to your body, soothe unrest, and feel.

Here are two steps to help you rewire your brain to notice and soothe unrest:

Listen for your ringtone. Like a telephone, unrest has a unique ringtone that lets us know it’s just for us. Our job is to learn our ringtone so we can quickly notice and respond.

Answer the call. Tune inward when you notice unrest. Getting in touch with your emotions can enhance your relationships and have profound mental health benefits.

Research indicates that accessing emotion deepens our experience of life’s meaning, buffers stress, aids in decision making, and is a key factor in improved mental health. Fully experiencing your emotions  promotes growth and leads to higher levels of resilience and authenticity.

When you detach, numb out, avoid, and distract from the pain you also shut out the beauty of life. Your vulnerability is strength. As you learn to care deeply without clinging or controlling, your emotions will become the energy that moves you toward a more rich and authentic life.