5 Things You Should Know about Living with Someone Who Suffers from PTSD
It can be very difficult to live with someone who suffers from PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Your loved one may suddenly have a panic attack, lash out in anger, or isolate him or herself. Their behavior often has a huge, disruptive impact on the family. How can you deal with that? How can you understand it? What is the path to health?
Here are 5 things you should know about living with someone who suffers from PTSD.
1. PTSD – an illness, not a weakness
PTSD is caused by the brain’s response to traumatic experiences in the past.
Maybe these events occurred in a war zone, or in an abusive childhood home. Rape, bullying, disasters, accidents or serious illness, as well as many forms of psychological trauma, can also cause PTSD.
Sometimes it can take a lot of exploration with a therapist to find the origin of the PTSD. And there is no expiry date on when the first symptoms appear.
The person who suffers from PTSD cannot ‘switch it off’ or ‘snap out of it’. PTSD has nothing to do with willpower or strength of character.
It is an illness that can happen to anyone.
2. PTSD – most common symptoms
The most common symptoms of PTSD are
- Flashbacks. The person experiences a memory that feels as if the event was happening ‘right now.’
- Panic attacks. Raised heart rate, shallow breath, dizziness, shallow breathing, and anxiety.
- Inability to regulate emotions
- Sudden outbursts of anger, sometimes leading to violence
- Sadness and depression
- Unrealistic ideas
- Behavioral changes
- Withdrawal from contact for long periods of time
- Inability to engage with family and friends
Many of these symptoms impact normal functioning and relationships. It’s important to remember that they are symptoms of the illness, not character flaws.
3. PTSD – most common triggers
- An event occurs that is similar to the original trauma. The sufferer responds as they did in the original situation.
- A sensory trigger occurs. A sound, sight, or smell is unconsciously linked to the trauma in the sufferer’s brain. This is very difficult to track and even more difficult to avoid.
- Situations with a similar dynamic to the trauma, although they look very different.
- Feeling trapped or abandoned in a building, at work, in transport.
PTSD triggers lurk everywhere. Be prepared with your coping strategies. Discuss the triggers in advance, when your loved one is in a calmer frame of mind.
4. PTSD – coping strategies for you
The person who suffers from PTSD will learn coping strategies in their treatment. But you also need, and deserve, to have your own coping strategies in place. Here are a few suggestions.
- Inform yourself.
- Talk about it. PTSD is part of both your lives. It’s an illness, not an unspeakable shame. Talking about it makes it more manageable and removes the stigma.
- Ask your loved one how they want you to respond. This returns a little bit of agency to their lives as a sufferer and patient, and it will help you to find the best approach.
- Try to keep your loved one connected with reality.
- Set clear boundaries. Getting enmeshed with your loved one’s illness won’t help them and will only damage you.
- Protect yourself.
Sometimes, PTSD symptoms can get so bad that the only solution is to remove yourself temporarily from the situation. If you can, discuss this option with your loved one ahead of time. Develop a strategy together.
If necessary, develop a strategy and make a plan for yourself on your own.
5. PTSD – professional help
PTSD needs to be treated by mental health professionals. As a person living with the sufferer, you cannot cure it or fix it. Your main responsibility is to yourself and any children involved.
Don’t minimize your own problems. Seek professional help for yourself. Counseling is very helpful for spouses of PTSD sufferers, as is couples counseling, where you can develop strategies together and understand each other more deeply.
A lot of help is available online, including forums for family members of people who suffer from PTSD. You are not alone, and you can get help to get through this the best way possible.
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